Halloween 2026: Day 40

Lake Placid

“I will not calm down! This is the second time I’ve been hit with a severed head and I don’t like it!”

This is a baffling film from beginning to end. The main question isn’t “how did an Asian crocodile end up in Black Lake in Maine?” or even “why is it called Lake Placid when they chose to name their fictional lake something else?” but “why the fuck does the writer like Hector Cyr so much and want us and the other characters to be on his side?”

This supposed horror comedy is neither horrific enough nor comedic enough. Betty White calling someone “Officer Fuckmeat” can only carry a movie so far.

Lifeforce

“She’s resisting. I’m gonna have to force her to tell me. Despite appearances, this woman is a masochist. An extreme masochist. She wants me to force the name out of her. She wants me to hurt her. I can see the images in her mind. Do you wanna stay? Otherwise, wait outside!”

“Not at all. I am a natural voyeur.”

Patrick Stewart died today. A muddled scifi film whose main memorable feature is a nude space vampire might not be the best way to commemorate him, but it’s certainly not the worst.